The above illustration, "Blowing Bubbles," has been adapted for use here by generous permission from the artist, Cyril Rolando.

December 10, 2009

Dear Santa,

Well, it's been a while, I know, since I last wrote to you. Years. But you've always been a forgiving kind of guy. I mean, I've been dumping change and bills into your kettles every Christmas and you've never once taken the opportunity to reproach me about being a poor correspondent...

...Sorry. It's just that old America song popped into my head. You know the one, Sister Goldenhair?

Anyway, it's not like I've ever even had a postcard from you in return. How've you been? Working hard or hardly working? How's the missus? You two still take that Caribbean cruise every January?

So. I reckon it's still okay to send you my Christmas wish list, right? Don't worry, I'm not going to ask for world peace or more time or perfect happiness. If you could handle those things it would be great, but I know lots of people have already asked and come away disappointed.

But I do want some gifts for other people, okay?

I want book critics everywhere to start genuflecting when they hear Craig McDonald's name.

I want every major NYC publisher to get on their collective knees and kiss Dave Zeltserman's tush before offering him a 50-book contract. In fact, let me amend this wish to just having all the major publishers get their heads out of their... well, Santa, old pal, I suppose if I finished that sentence I guess you'd put me right back on the naughty list. Again.

I want Declan Burke to sell a million books of his own creation.

I want Robert Crais to live forever and never get too old or too tired to write about Elvis and Joe.

I want to see Don Winslow in that little red dress, surrounded by bestsellers bearing his name.

I want Andrews Vachss to win an unconditional surrender in the war against the monsters who abuse children and animals.

I want Donald Westlake's family to find a secret stash of Dortmunder books ready for publication. (OK, this one really is a gift for me, but I'm willing to share it with others.)

I want Ken Bruen to be canonized so that we all can go ahead speak of him as St. Ken, since we already think of him that way. And I'd like a St. Ken medal, please, in the shape of a hurley.

I want Jen to win the next 100 annual BBAWs for best book blog.

I want UCLA to win the Pac-10 football championship next year for Michael's son; and free audiobooks for life for Michael.

I want Naomi to get paid for her short stories. You might consider sprinkling that wish around to the other web crime writers, too.

I want publishers to give indie bookstores a fighting chance against the chain stores and mass merchandisers. Oh, wait. I already made that wish earlier about the publishers. That wish should cover this one.

I want more support for libraries and literacy efforts.

Last of all, I want people to read more. And I want them to want to read more.
Well, good buddy, guess it's almost time for the mail carrier's visit so I better get the envelope made out. You take care up there, get plenty of vitamin D, and don't work the elves too hard.

Your friend,

PS Say, man, you never have said what you would like for Christmas. What'll it be?


  1. What a great, altruistic wish list, Corey. Thanks for writing it because now I can just cut and paste most of it onto my list.

    Happy holidays!

  2. Aw, PCN, you know you're only going to take the Robert Crais bit. :-)

  3. I heartily agree with PCN. A great post, Corey (and I'll be sure to pass along that one wish to mi hijo). I hope the upcoming holidays bring the absolute best to you and yours. Thank you and cheers, my friend.

  4. Au contraire, Corey. I want to see Don Winslow in that little red dress, too! How are you liking Gentlemen's Hour?

  5. PCN, I'm enjoying it and hoping no one thinks I'm much like the Corey in the book.

  6. This list is awesome...and awwww, thanks for your wishes for me, too! :) Of course I'd love RC to live forever...would definitely like to see Don Winslow in that little red dress...absolutely agree that critics need to be genuflecting for Craig...but I'd like Ken to be knighted first. I really want to be able to call him Sir Ken. Then you can canonize him.

    I'll also contribute to the million seller for Declan...just get the book on the shelves! ;)

    Hope Santa comes through for you, Corey! We'll all benefit!